When the Strong One Gets Tired

The difference between resting, disappearing, and walking away wounded

SOJOURNER:

Professor, I received a message from someone who is tired. Not the kind of tired that a good night’s sleep fixes. She is tired of helping. Tired of being the nice one. Tired of making sure everything runs smoothly. Tired of being careful not to offend anyone while it seems nobody is particularly careful about offending her. She said something that stayed with me: I’ve given so much that I don’t have anything else to give. And then she asked me a very simple question: What do I do?

I understand her more than she probably realizes. There comes a point when you begin thinking, Fine. If nobody notices me while I’m here, maybe they’ll notice when I’m gone. But something bothers me about that response. There has to be a difference between stepping away because you need restoration and disappearing because you want people to finally realize what they had.

PROFESSOR:

There is. And that distinction may be the most important thing to recognize when the strong one gets tired.

There is nothing wrong with rest. There is nothing wrong with saying no. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you have reached the limits of what you can presently give.

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